Last night was Mystery Road’s last band practice. PBRs were passed around, some corny, tasteless jokes were told and we also had one of what I thought to be our best rehearsals. We ran through the set and I thought we played really well. I even found the vibe to really positive and we all joked and talked about how excited we were for Saturday night’s show. I can still tell by looking at Elana and Ira that they are gonna be pretty saddened by this coming to an end. Michael seems to understand the situation but the other two just seem to be taking it pretty hard.
Ya know, it’s not that I don’t care or that I’m being heartless but I’m actually really kinda tired of trying to explain to people why I feel the way I do. I totally understand that people are going to be sad and that I’m going to be missed and in all honesty, I love that and I truly appreciate that. I have met some amazing people in my life and while they have touched me and and been there for me in many ways, it’s a great feeling to be though of the same way. I don’t think people truly understand or think that they are making me (and Lady L. for that matter) feel kind of bad about it. When people go up to Lady L and make comments about her breaking up the band and what not, I know they might be “kind of joking” but those things hurt. She already is having a hard enough time as it is and it makes it even harder on me knowing that. Again, I know that people don’t mean to have their feelings taken that way but I just wish they would take into account that I have strong feelings about this too.
I’m just pretty tired of even processing this anymore and I just know that from here on, I’m gonna have to have some pretty thick skin. I cannot help how people feel or what they will say but I can control how I take them in. Again, I will really miss everyone. I will miss my band, my co-workers, my friends and even my favorite Chinese buffet (35 Chinese) but I am very excited for this transition in my life. I’m excited to see my Lady L. take off and go for the gusto, living out her dreams and her hard work. I’m excited to do things in my life that I’ve only been able to wish about doing and I’m excited for the both of us to live a happy and full life. I know that people will be sad and maybe even a tad bit angry but I hope that they all will know just how much I love them and I can only hope that they will share in my happiness and be happy for Lady L. and I and our new life.
Like I’ve been saying for a while now… This isn’t good-bye because good-bye’s forever. This just “see ya later”. I’ll be back around.
