Checkin’ In Before The Transition

The transition is upon us and while it has all the potential for utter insanity, I’m feeling really very calm abut the whole thing.  I’ve had a great time hanging with friends and having dinner and lunch and just hanging out.  The positive feedback and vibes I’m getting from my friends  has been just what I needed to make this transition a positive one for me.  Music (surprise!) has been really important to me lately and what I’ve been listening to is inspiring me and moving me.  David Crosby seems to be the contender for the most inspiring lately but in addition to Cros, new material from Asheville, NC’s Chakra Bird (former leaders of Cicada Sings) has really captivated me and the new Bombadil album “Tarpits and Canyons” has been an amazing listen.

Another thing I’ve been enjoying lately has been watching music movies/documentaries.  I happened to watch the CSNY documentary from a few years back called “Deja Vu” which was absolutely amazing and I’ve been watching (thanks to Jaymz) Tom Dowd and the Language of Music.  That particular flick has me dying to work in a recording studio.  It just looks so amazing to watch an artist come in with an idea and to be able to help that person’s vision become something real, something trapped in time.  That might be something that I can see myself really getting into.  Production of albums has always intrigued me and interested me just as much sometimes if not more than the actual music.  Even as much of a songwriter I am, if the album doesn’t sound good, it’s hard to listen to.

Anyways, I’m in a good place and I’m excited about the next chapter.   I’m not making any big plans or setting any time lines for myself at this point.  The future is my oyster and I’m going to have the opportunity to do some really amazing things.  I’m so excited to get started and to get in there and throw myself into whatever it is I do.  I will give 120% of everything I have to whatever it is I do.  I learned that here in my musical life in NC.  No matter what you have working against you, work harder.  If giving 100% isn’t getting you anywhere, give 110, 120% and maybe things will work for you.  I worked very hard here and upon looking back, I have some amazing success stories that I will carry with me and hope to continue them into a new chapter.

This is going to be my last entry until after we actually move but please keep up.  I hope you’ll follow me on this new and exciting journey!  See ya’ll on the other side!

The Last Waltz

Saturday night was it… the last hoorah for Mystery Road as we know it. It was a really fun night and many friends were there. The night started off with our good friends Birds and Arrows who played a really great set of a few old tunes and a bunch of great new material that I cannot wait to hear on their new album. They expressed their appreciation for being included on our final night. They opened for us on our very first show ever so having them join us for our final show was like bringing it back around full circle. We had some great shows with them and we couldn’t think of anyone else we’d rather be part of it.

Before the show started, I presented the band with flasks that were engraved with “Mystery Road – Have A Good Time…All The Time. They all seemed to really love them and we ll bonded over a beer took a shot of Bushmills from my flask. Over all, I thought we played pretty sloppy but I feel that a lot of this was due to the horrible sound in The Cave. As much as I love that venue, it’s always so hard to get the sound right in there so it makes it hard for us to keep focus and keep on time and even in tune sometimes. I felt like the energy was so high and everyone was so into it that it made up for any and all musical imperfections as far as I’m concerned. The audience seemed to really enjoy themselves and from what I could see and hear, nobody wasn’t having a good time so I call that mission accomplished.

After the show we all loaded up our gear, thanked friends for coming out and took some photos w/ Birds & Arrows and bid farewell to everyone. The band’s spirits seemed to be high and there were no tears. In all honesty, I’m not disappointed about this and in all honesty, I didn’t shed a tear… not a single tear. I’ve really been analyzing this since the day after the show and I’m not quite sure what to think. I was talking to Lady L. about it and she thinks that I should ask my therapist what I need to do to mourn and part with this aspect of life or if I even need to. I don’t mean this in a negative way but I’m not sad nor do I feel the need to really mourn. Maybe it’s because when I put the band together, I was honest with them in letting them know that this was a short term thing and that it would have a potential end date. I knew I had about 2 years before we would be moving to “somewhere”.

I feel like I was sad about 6 months ago when I knew it was all going to come to an end. Even then, I didn’t really cry or get super sad. Again, I think a lot of this has to do with the fact that this isn’t a negative thing. It’s not like we’re moving because I got laid off and we have to go someplace else for work or that something bad happened. It’s a really positive thing. Lady L graduates from grad school, pretty much gets her dream job in Atlanta and in return, I get to only work part time and pursue my dreams of doing something or a few things dealing with music. It’s a pretty sweet fucking deal if you ask me so no, I’m not sad about it. I will really miss my friends, my band and even my job but trust me, the future looks really great for us and my friends I will keep for a lifetime. So maybe I answered my own question as to why I dont’ feel like I’m mourning or sad.

I’m really proud and happy about what Mystery Road accomplished. My first show ever at The Cave had about 3 people there and my last show with Mystery Road was a full house of screaming, cheering dancing Mystery Road fans that seemed to have the time of their life. I feel that I learned so many important lessons with this band. I learned with a lot of hard work and dedicated bandmates, you can set out to do just about anything. We really pushed hard and worked hard to get to where we were. I learned many lessons that I will take with me to Atlanta and maybe things will be done a bit differently.

So what’s next for me? I’m not really sure. I’m not trying to set too many goals for myself just yet. I wanna get there and I wanna get acclimated to the Atlanta scene and feel it out. In all honesty, maybe I’ll try and join something that’s already up and running. I’m kinda thinking that maybe it would be nice to just be a band member/collaborator in a band. I’ve spent a lot of years booking shows, sending press releases, updating MySpace pages, etc and to be honest, maybe it would be a nice break. You know, maybe it would be nice to just get to be a musician. Then again, maybe this is how I work the best, with my hands in the pot. See, there I go already, trying to make plans. I’m just going to take it day to day and let the music lead me into wherever it is I’m bound to go.

Today, I’m packing up my gear. All my harmonicas, my strings and even what’s left of my Mystery Road guitar picks are going into a box and getting sealed for their journey to our new, exciting home. It’s going to be a fun and exciting transition I just know. For now, I bid you all farewell…

Thank you North Carolina… GOODNIGHT!

Pre Show Nerves

So tonight is Mystery Road’s “End of the Road” show.  This is it, our farewell.  My stomach is a fucking wreck right now with nerves.  I haven’t been THIS worked up for a show in a long time.  I actually love it.  There’s nothing more amazing that the excitement and anticipation of a gig.  I’ve had butterflies and a shaky stomach all fucking day.  I even tried to nap and I couldn’t.  The excitement of the show is keeping me on my toes and on the edge.  I can’t wait!

Bittersweet Indeed…

Last night was Mystery Road’s last band practice.  PBRs were passed around, some corny, tasteless jokes were told and we also had one of what I thought to be our best rehearsals.  We ran through the set and I thought we played really well.  I even found the vibe to really positive and we all joked and talked about how excited we were for Saturday night’s show.  I can still tell by looking at Elana and Ira that they are gonna be pretty saddened by this coming to an end.  Michael seems to understand the situation but the other two just seem to be taking it pretty hard.

Ya know, it’s not that I don’t care or that I’m being heartless but I’m actually really kinda tired of trying to explain to people why I feel the way I do.  I totally understand that people are going to be sad and that I’m going to be missed and in all honesty, I love that and I truly appreciate that.  I have met some amazing people in my life and while they have touched me and and been there for me in many ways, it’s a great feeling to be though of the same way.  I don’t think people truly understand or think that they are making me (and Lady L. for that matter) feel kind of bad about it.  When people go up to Lady L and make comments about her breaking up the band and what not, I know they might be “kind of joking” but those things hurt.  She already is having a hard enough time as it is and it makes it even harder on me knowing that.  Again, I know that people don’t mean to have their feelings taken that way but I just wish they would take into account that I have strong feelings about this too.

I’m just pretty tired of even processing this anymore and I just know that from here on, I’m gonna have to have some pretty thick skin.  I cannot help how people feel or what they will say but I can control how I take them in.  Again, I will really miss everyone.  I will miss my band, my co-workers, my friends and even my favorite Chinese buffet (35 Chinese) but I am very excited for this transition in my life.  I’m excited to see my Lady L. take off and go for the gusto, living out her dreams and her hard work.  I’m excited to do things in my life that I’ve only been able to wish about doing and I’m excited for the both of us to live a happy and full life.  I know that people will be sad and maybe even a tad bit angry but I hope that they all will know just how much I love them and I can only hope that they will share in my happiness and be happy for Lady L. and I and our new life.

Like I’ve been saying for a while now… This isn’t good-bye because good-bye’s forever.  This just “see ya later”.  I’ll be back around.

Keepin’ On…

Life is good.  What else can I say?  Mystery Road has been rehearsing REALLY well and we’ve really been enjoying each others company.  I feel like the rehearsals have been fun, productive and they’ve had a great flow.  We worked up the set list for the final show on June 20th at The Cave and I couldn’t be more happy with how the songs just flow in and out of each other.  This just may be our best set list yet and I can’t wait to get out there and really let our fans have 110%.

As we get closer to the end of the line, I can’t help but think about how just how damn happy I am with where it will be coming to an end.  Don’t get me wrong, I’ll miss this band so much but it’s a great place to bring it to a close.  We worked really hard on these songs and our performances and I think they speak for themselves.  We really picked up our own lil following and managed to keep them on board for all of our shows no matter what time or night we were playing.  11pm on a Friday, they were there.   10pm on a Thursday night, they were there.  It’s a great feeling.   I remember back to the days of me playing to 4 people at The Cave solo on a Wednesday night and it just reminds me that with a lot of hard work, perseverance and networking, you can make anything happen.  I’ve learned so much over these years and I can’t wait to apply that to my new surroundings.

In addition to Mystery Road, I also have been reflecting on the musical stepping stones that got me to where I am now.  I have fond memories of being the bassist for a bluegrass trio called “Good Turn”.  Being a “member” of a band instead of a creative member taught me a lot.  I learned how to listen and how to relinquish control to those that were in charge and while I found it challenging at times, it made me a better musician and a better performer.  It was a great, fun experience that I am really grateful for.

Another thing I am grateful for is my experience in Shades of Winter.  That is something that got me to where I am today.  I learned a lot of great, valuable lessons in that band and I have no regrets about it whatsoever.  We made some great music together in our time and I’m super proud of it.  I did learn a lot about communication though.  There were many things that could’ve been done differently in this band to make things less painful but ya know, this was my first band since 1994.  I was learning a lot and I learned a lot.  Things happen and don’t happen for a reason but to regret them seems silly.  Shades of Winter was a stepping stone to this amazing place that I am at in my life now and for that I am forever grateful.  I will always look back on my time with that band and appreciate it for what it is and what it was.  Life is too fucking short to have regrets and to carry grudges.

Oh Atlanta…

Can ya believe it? June 20th is Mystery Roads FINAL SHOW! We’ll be at The Cave in Chapel Hill to bid everyone Fare Thee Well from Mystery Road. It’s going to be a HUGE celebration and I cannot tell you how much I’m looking forward to it. While I know it’ll be considered a “sad” affair to many, I’m ecstatic about this show. I think it’ll be fun and the reason I’m not sad is because I’m not saying good-bye. Good bye is forever and trust me, I plan on seeing ya’ll again… probably many times. Maybe more times than you’d care to see me…

It’s hard to believe that we are heading back to where it all pretty much began. Back in 1999, my Lady L. and I packed up and moved to Concord, NC for what was supposed to be a one year thing. It ended up being the start of a 10 year life in the state of North Carolina. After being in Concord for nearly 4 years, Lady L. started taking classes online from UNC Chapel Hill and in 2003 we relocated to Chapel Hill for her to attend Grad School. In this time, we had many discussions about just what this meant and what the future might hold for us.

in 2005, we bought our first home in Durham and life continued to move forward. In our 10 years here, I feel that I experienced so much artistic growth. I learned a lot about myself both as a person and an artist. My life as a musician/songwriter/singer all changed in 2003 after meeting Bert Wray in Charlotte, NC. He was an inspiration, a positive influence and someone that would pretty much shape me as a live performer. He really taught me to come out of my shell and that it was ok to not be perfectly in key and note for note. It was all about the song and making sure people could feel the song and become part of it. I also learned the gift of “banter” from Bert and how important it was to make your audience part of the show. That was a HUGE lesson for me to learn and has done well for me for well over 6 years now.

My time in NC was like going to school. I learned a lot about what I like, don’t like, and what I can tolerate and not tolerate. I have had my successes and I’ve had my failures and in all honesty, I would change them for the world because if not for those failures and mistakes, I would’ve never got to where I’m at now. I made some waves as a solo act, I worked VERY hard at it and I had a very successful run with Mystery Road. I found 3 of the greatest musicians I have ever met and I cannot express what a treat it was to be in a band with them. While I had to jam with few frogs to get the perfect Mystery Road line-up, we found each other and sparked a friendship both personally and musically that lasted and persevered.

I will always look back on my time here as a REALLY magical time. I met some great friends/musicians, played some great shows and made two albums that are VERY close to me. I feel that this is sort of a life graduation for me of sorts. Now it’s time to make my way to the big city and share with them just what I learned in my time here. I’m extremely lucky to have the support of a loving partner who supports me and loves me more than anyone I know (I hope so!). It’s because of her that I will be able to pursue things in life that I only used to be able to dream about. If that’s not the greatest love and support of all, I don’t know what is. What can I say? I’m a lucky son of a bitch!

This isn’t good-bye by the way… just c-ya later!

Time Is Gonna Bring Us A Change…

Many years ago, I wrote a song that had the line “with a change of seasons come seasons of change”. Hell, I probably stole it from someone but that line is still very prophetic for me even to this day. I’m not quite sure where these changes in the path will take me but I have to go into it with an open mind and and open heart in order for life to continue to be both positive and exciting for me. I’ve been feeling myself starting to distance myself from things lately and it’s a hard feeling. It’s almost kinda like that part in Harry & The Hendersons where he’s yelling at Harry to go away. I just don’t wanna get to THAT point but I know how it feels.

So for those that don’t know, my time here in North Carolina is coming to an end.  My Lady L. just took a great job that will be moving us back to Atlanta, GA.  That’s right, 10+ years after being gone from there, we’re going back.  Ten years is a long time.  Things change, people change, friends change, and I’ve changed.  I’m not the same person I was when I left.  I’ve grown into a new person both personally and musically.  It’s taken me some time to discover just how I feel about all this but ya know, I’m surprisingly ok with it.  I’m actually pretty excited to head back to such a big city but the question is, will the city welcome me?  I’m not quite sure what I’m going to do musically but ya know, I’m gonna start small.  I’m gonna hit the ol’ Red Light Cafe open mic night.  I’m gonna find the cool coffeehouse in Decatur to perform at.  I’m gonna meet some cool folks to do some collaborating with and I will do what I wanna do.

In 2003, I played in Chapel Hill for the first time and it took me 5 years and 2 bands to FINALLY feel like I got it right.  Chapel Hill is a damn near impossible town.  It’s a town built on trends and, as always, I never fit in.  I did get lucky and find some great and wonderful musicians to make music with and a few other like minded bands to play the occasional shows with.  I’ve had some great times here but even if we were to be staying here, I feel like I’ve hit a brick wall.  There is no “getting big” in this town unless you are a darling of the press or, as I said before, a trendy band with a bunch of alcoholic friends.  Forgive me if I sound bitter but in a way, I am.  But ya know what?  I’ve stuck to my guns all these years and it did good for me.  I might not be “popular” here but we pulled a strong, dedicated following of people w/ the songs we did and you can’t put a price on that.  We did it without the help of the local press and without the support of the “bigger” venues.  The lil guys took chances on us and found out that it was well worth it and for that, I’ll always be grateful.

So the band has two more shows left.  We will perform on May 14th as a trio and our “farewell” show will be back where it all began at The Cave on June 20th.  It’ll be a fun, emotional night without a doubt and more than likely tears will flow along with all the PBR and whiskey.  So there ya have it folks.  As Corky Jones once sang…”Time is gonna bring us a change…”.  As much as I dislike change and am scared of it, I couldn’t be more excited for a new chapter in my life!  I say bring it on.

I Am Not Cool

I love that part in Almost Famous when Lester Bangs is talking to William Miller and says, “We… are NOT cool”, yet says it with the comfort of knowing that’s it’s not true and that it’s totally “cool” to not be “cool”. That is exactly how I feel about my music and the kind of music I play. I was watching Festival Express this weekend and I was watching those bands play and it was so amazing. In between the bands setting up, there were these amazing solo folksingers performing to thousands of attentive (and probably really stoned) people and I thought to myself, “Ya know, I’m about 35 years too fucking late.” Would I have been “cool” back then? Would I have had my crowd?

I have never played in a “cool” band and that has never changed. Now don’t get me wrong, in MY mind, I (and my band) play the coolest music. We play the music that I think is the coolest but the general public looks at us as the most uncool of the uncool. There are a lot of bands in this town and the scene is over saturated with music coming out of every orifice. Now there are a few venues in this area that have given my band a chance and based on what they all told us, are glad they did. They went out and gave us the opportunity to prove ourselves and show that the “uncool” music we play can pull a bunch of people to hear “uncool” music and be totally “uncool” with us and have a great time. On the other hand, there are other venues (cough, cough, Local 506, cough, cough) that talk about how they want to book more local bands and give new bands a chance yet they won’t return e-mails or any other kind of correspondence. And as for the press (cough, cough, Independent Weekly, cough, cough), forget it. Unless you’re the local indie rock darling or an indie band that isn’t even together anymore with it’s members spread all over the country, you can forget about getting press. Matter of fact, at one particular headlining show of ours, the band that was playing with us got an entire paragraph and we got a line that basically said, “oh yeah, and some band that took their name from a Drivin’ N Cryin’ album is also playing”.

Ya know, even as a folksinger before I had my awesome band Mystery Road, I remember feeling even less cool but ya know, I found comfort in being that uncool.  I never got offered to play the “cool” venues but yet The Cave and Open Eye Cafe ALWAYS had me.  They understood my “uncoolness” and had me with opened arms.  I remember even trying to contact  people who advertised putting on folk house concerts only to be told that I didn’t fit their definition of folk music which by listening to www.folkalley.org sounds more like adult contemporary with acoustic guitars, James Taylor Lite if you will.  I can only imagine that Woody, Ledbelly and maybe even Arlo would snicker at things like this and stick to their guns playing the music that comes from their hearts for the people who are willing to take it what it is.  I’m REALLY lucky to have found those people over the years.  The ones that will come out to a small, independent coffee shop in Apex and fill the room for me.  The ones that will come out to a Chapel Hill venue on a Thursday night at 9pm to hear my band play our hearts out and laugh and groove with us.  The ones that will listen to my music un-biassed and offer up true and honest words of critique and criticism.

I will never been cool enough for the Independent and I will never be cool enough for the Local 506.  I am not cool and ya know what?  I’m ok with that.

Thanks to all of you who listen and love!

Making The Connection

Mystery Road played last night at Mansion 462 and I couldn’t be happier w/ how it all went. I thought we played really solidly and the audience really loved us. The band was all in great spirits going into the show but after the show there was a bit of negativity coming from Michael. The minute we were done he let out his “complaints” about the night. I thought he was being too hard on himself and tried to remind him that this kinda music is not about perfection and more about the vibe and the fun and giving the audience quality songs with a fun, exciting delivery. Even though it may not have been perfect, I had the absolute time of my life. This was hands down the most fun show I have ever played. I was having so much fun with the audience and after the show it was just great to hang with everyone and drink. I was so happy that Birds & Arrows played with us again. They are such a great band and such great people and I really did have a great time watching and hanging w/ them. They even took a request from me and played “Passage” which made my night. The night was capped off by Lauren and Mike taking me to Time Out for one of my all time treats… BACON/EGG/CHEESE biscuit! Mike and Lauren took some awesome pictures and you can see the ones that Lauren took here: http://flickr.com/photos/oohmygeez/sets/72157614811621589/

Trying to come down from this show was a bit hard. I’ve been on this high all day from it and finally started to crash about 3pm today. It’s really funny because it’s one of those things that I just keep playing back in my head. I wish I could do it again tonight and have it go exactly the way that it went last night. It’s really cool to have these great memories of that show and to know that I will always remember how good it felt to have that audience connecting with us. There’s a good chance that may not happen again for a long time. There’s a good chance that I’ll have many shows like this. All I know is that I had such a rush of emotions last night as I was playing. Hearing the band marching through each song and giving it their all and looking out and seeing all those smiling faces just made me remember just why I love doing this.

I was telling a friend today how my idea of “making it” has changed so much. I remember being 15 years old thinking that “making it” was platinum records, groupies, big houses, MTV (when they played music). Now, at 35, making it to me is last night. Making it to me is having people come up to you and tell you that they loved your music. Telling you that made their day. Making it to me is seeing two people tear up as you are performing a very personal song and making it is when someone comes up to you and thanks you for having a song that they felt a strong connection with. That’s what it’s all about… making that connection.

If this is making it, well… I’ve made it big after all these years!

Redemption Is Sweet

After a really disappointing Mystery Road rehearsal the previous week, I was really hoping that we could redeem ourselves and have a great rehearsal. We all just decided that instead of trying to pressure ourselves working on new material that it was in our best interest to work on what we already have and make it as tight as we can. We ran through the entire set and only hit a few minor snags and boy did it feel good. The songs sounded full of energy and everyone was in great spirits making for a really enjoyable night of music making. I am really looking forward to the Mansion 462 show on March 5th. We have just over an hour of music and we’re really looking forward to getting in there and putting on the best show we can put on.

So I decided to start working on a new solo CD in order to capture recordings of some of the songs that I’ve been writing over the past year or two. I ended compiling a nice list of songs (15 total) of which I will probably pick 8 or 9 to release as the next CD. I’ve been documenting the progress of this still untitled CD of mine. You can check it out by going to http://hickorystillrecords.wordpress.com/. I mean, only if you’re really bored and have nothing else better to do! So far the process had been frustrating but productive at the same time in ways I didn’t think it could be.

So what am I listening to these days? Well, David Gray has found his way back into my ears which has been so nice for my soul. “As I’m Leaving” from his Lost Songs album is a new/old favorite and when it popped up on the iPod while on shuffle, it made me go back to re-discover one of my favorite songwriters. I’m glad I found him again. I’ve also found myself digging Natalie Merchant’s “Live” album and her covers of “After The Gold Rush” and “Space Oddity” really hit me. Crosby & Nash’s catalog has also been giving me some great vibes and as always the Drive-By Truckers have been inspiring me with “Brighter Than Creation’s Dark”. From Good Homes‘ “Open Up The Sky” album has been a great reminiscing album from the days of jam bands old and I am HIGHLY anticipating the release of the new Neko Case album “Middle Cyclone”.

I hope you all are well and that you are all finding inspiration wherever you can for whatever you need!